miracle of life & parenthood..

looking back at the old photos taken for baby xavier, it is really heart-warming to see my little prince has grown from a small infant who likes to cry and sleep alot in the bed, w/o me worrying that he will fall from bed cos he haven't mastered the rolling over tactics, to a bigger baby who can roll from one place to another and asking for 'bao bao' when place sitting upright.. from milk drinking to a solid-food munching baby, daily poo poo to maybe not so frequent (everytime he poo, i am like strike lottery and happily clearing his poo.. haha ;p).. me still waiting for the moment he will be able to crawl and standing up..

the miracle of lives is always happening around us, it is up to us whether we are willing to open our senses to learn to feel it. recently have seen 2 cases of abandoned babies, which twisted my heart a bit on the thought of why the mother can be steel-heart to just put their new-borne in some places and went away, leading to death of one baby..

but then, i do not know the rational behind the mother's action. perhaps they have reasonable explanation for their doings. i can understand raising a child is not that easy. the stress level, be it physical, mental, emotion, financial etc, is very overwhelming. took me sometimes to get over the difficult phases, though at times i have been complaining, but i know my ben dan is always there for me and our xavier..

somehow, it is all worth it when i see a smiling face from someone who always wanna me carry when he sees me. and the way he keeps attacking the toys around him and start his biting skills.. the excitement he shows when he see milk bottle and foods on his way, with his mouth wide-opened..

i must admit, i might not be the good mother in accord to some of the new mothers around me. i need some private time with ben dan and will left him with mil or my mum just to catch time for a date or movie. and i will spank him (gently) if he started to kick fuss, and raise my voice a bit when he is really getting on my nerves. i don't think i fit into the 'love education' which is greatly adores by most mothers now.. haha ;p

but YES, I DO LOVE MY SON.. and i am proud whenever i introduce him to my friends etc. if being good mother means that scolding is out when the child is getting out of hand, and giving in all the times, then i guess you can fail me.. don't get me wrong, i don't encourage anyhow scolding and beating on just to insist that your thinking is right.

the inner nature of child might be decided when he/she arrives to this world, but the up-bringing by parents played a major part. hearing stories and working in a childcare environment before, i realise that some of the children now are rather self-centred and pampered (forgive me for bring blunt), and their actions are hard for me to understand since the parents are so highly educated. maybe our system of raising a child has changed until i can't anticipate.

i believe in knowing the nature of your child and put the appropriate approach in getting the child understand and listening. of cos, i must learn to be a listening party. but knowing myself, there is more that i need to learn in handling these situation when xavier is older. saying is always easier, and doing is the real test. again, i have far more to catch up to realise this talk of mine.. haha ;p

having being a child, teenage, young adult, i know when children are older, they will have their own world, having their own friends where they will confide mostly on, going out for activities and not coming back for dinner, perhaps getting a partner and have their own families. this is part and parcel of life, which i think everyone will go through. i guess i would need to learn to let go when this comes. but i will try to hold my child close whenever possible.

now, i appreciate more on the things my parent did for me, though there are times i still can't help it but to talk back sometimes, and get angry when my child-like father gets on my nerves..

well, think i will wait for another 10 more years or so before facing these situations, so meanwhile, guess i will watch with appreciation that xavier is growing well under the love and care by family and friends, waiting for him to reach each milestone...

turtle's thought of the day.. hehe ;p

简单生活

很喜欢这位Ms Shenton在mypaper.sg里的专栏, 以客观的角度来写我们日常所经历的事物。。这篇文章本人挺喜欢的，与你分享分享 ：）

想太多

终于明白有些事是我想太多了，
原来做了一场可笑的梦。。

虽然不知道的话，
事情会美一点，但知道后，
才会了解一切是自己一厢情愿的，
还傻傻得以为，真得有人欣赏。。

真的觉得自己太可笑，
也可悲了。。

哈哈哈哈。。

Rainbow

saw a long beautiful rainbow on 25 Feb on my way home where coincidentally, i was feeling down that day, be it for work or personal.. was puzzled when i saw a lot of people using their phone camera to take snapshots when crossing the overhead bridge. when i saw the rainbow, my mood was lifted up a bit as it seemed like a sign asking me to buck myself up.. even though i resisted the idea of taking the photo of it, but a voice kept telling me to capture the moment..

2 of my friends mentioned the rainbow in the blog & facebook respectively where they were delighted to see the rainbow. i guess the rainbow has helped to lift up everyone's mood on that day.. at least mine was lifted and went happy for a while..

however, i still have questions in my mind to ponder..
more challenges to come, can i take it?
decision to be made, will i regret it?
road getting tougher, will i able to keep on walking?

guess got to just smile and go on :)

眼泪

最近，不懂是不是爱心泛滥，还是过于感性，
从电视看到一些故事，听着某首歌，
人家分享的故事，
眼眶会渐渐被泪水掩盖，
然后眼泪徐徐而下。。

以前，同样的事情也会发生，
但是，不会像如此般地容易，
最多也只是湿了眼眶罢了。。

奇怪，真的很奇怪。。

不能哭，会比能哭来的辛苦。。
我想应该好好控制我的眼泪，
毕竟，眼泪是珍贵的。
要为真正值得流而流。。

你呢？多久没有感动流泪了呢？

****************************

眼泪

作词:黄国伦 作曲:黄国伦
主唱: 范晓萱

青春若有张不老的脸 但愿它永远不被改变
许多梦想总编织太美 跟着迎接幻灭

爱上你是最快乐的事 却又换来最痛苦的悲
苦涩交错爱的甜美 我怎样都学不会 ha~

oh~眼泪 眼泪都是我的体会 成长的滋味
oh~眼泪 忍住眼泪不让你看见 oh 我在改变
孤单的感觉 你从不曾发现 我笑中还有泪

爱上你是最快乐的事 却又换来最痛苦的悲
苦涩交错爱的甜美 我怎样都学不会 a~

oh~眼泪 眼泪都是我的体会 成长的滋味
oh~眼泪 忍住眼泪不让你看见 oh 我在改变
孤单的感觉 你从不曾发现 我笑中还有泪

oh~眼泪 眼泪流过无言的夜 心痛的滋味
oh~眼泪 擦干眼泪忘掉一切 曾有的眷恋
oh~眼泪是苦 眼泪是伤悲 oh 眼泪都是你
oh~眼泪是甜 眼泪是昨天 oh 眼泪不流泪

骏安长牙了！！

发现骏安的小小牙正在慢慢的生长，
想拿相机拍，但他却超级不合作，
哄他，骗他，开了一下，马上把嘴关起来，
在笨蛋的协助下，好不容易才拍到的。。

诱骗中














来硬了
















哈哈。。

现在的心情

是贪婪吗?
是渴望吗?
要的不是物质，
只是一种想被疼爱的感觉。

看着，听着，
别人愉悦地庆祝，
而发现自己原来，
已很久没有好好庆祝了。。

他是疼我的，无可否认，
但我想一切对他来说，
变的理所当然。

就算我口是心非地说，
不要不要庆祝，
但心里还是暗地里的期盼着。。

好矛盾，真的好矛盾。。
发现自己既可笑也无聊，
一直去想着已过的节日，
虽有不甘，但也该习以为常。。

我想快快走出闷闷的心情 :)